Webhosting Service provided by
Now you too can have quality
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Now, we can host your ultra-high-bandwidth site (smutty
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month. For only 25 cents*, we will
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Terms and Conditions
- $2.50 additional monthly fee for us plugging the server
- $3.75 additional monthly fee for us not unplugging the
server whenever we feel like it.
- $4.25 additional fee per KB for monthly transfer over 6
- $9.00 additional fee every time you mention "Microsoft
- $12.00 additional fee each time we have to explain to
you how to use Microsoft "Bob."
- $13.50 additional monthly fee for us not letting
chickens roost in your spare drive bays.
- $15.00 additional fee per day we don't host a Quake
tournament on your server.
- $23.00 additional fee per day we don't train the
neighbor's German Shepherd that your server is a fire
- $28.00 additional monthly fee for FTP or Telnet access.
- $34.95 additional monthly fee for us not setting up a
cron job to change your server's name and IP
address every twelve minutes.
- $46.00 additional monthly fee for us not plugging you
into a 2400-baud AGIS dial-up.
- $50.00 additional monthly fee for tech support*. (*so
that our tech staff will not call you "jackass sucker" and
hang up as soon as you call)
- $55.00 additional fee each time we don't call you "dillweed"
and flood ping you for the fun of it.
- $60.00 additional fee for us not answering the phone
"Domino's Pizza!" and denying we have anything to do with
- $65.00 additional fee per question asked.
- $85.00 additional fee per dumb question asked.
- $115.00 additional fee per actual answer given.
- $145.00 additional fee per answer given which is not "I
dunno. It's probably something wrong with the computer or
- $165.00 additional fee each time we don't tell you "You
should call up AOL and complain about busy signals. That
should fix the problem."
- $200.00 additional fee for us not to answer your
question in an obscure dialect of Mandarin Chinese.
- $350.00 additional fee each time we tell you to "
hole_in_the_ground | grep "your_butt"
- $2,000.00 additional fee each time we don't drive over
and beat the crap out of you for asking us stupid questions.